I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
