Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
