Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
