all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
it's like iHOP with fire
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
