I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
