Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
