haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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