Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
