It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
What a dumb baby whore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
