You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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