need another drink. this is the easiest way
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
