I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
