who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
