Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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