Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
