We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
