Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
