Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
