her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
