so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
