I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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