I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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