love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
