I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
