I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
