Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
