Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize