i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
