Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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