well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
