ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
