they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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