Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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