i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
