Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
