I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
