You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
