Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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