Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
