Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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