Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
