I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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