Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
