Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
