i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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