I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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