PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
