is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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