OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
