addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do you have feelings for this penis?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
