ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
