he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
